I am looking for someone fun to be around, that enjoys having a great time (because I am a cheater and a liar and I had a girlfriend way out of my league who happens to have associates intelligent enough to hack who have made her aware ;)...jokes on you, it will not play out well. Also you are not fun to be around. You are boring and rehearsed, I have seen you in action. You are a phony. Also under medicated bi-polar typically isn't fun and I have no sympathy because you made your bed many times from pure poor choices....or so I hear.) I'm a divorced professional (ex con with a string of offenses, look me up my first name has three letters starting with a J and is similar to a brand of peanut butter, and my last name starting with a D is the same name as the chain restaurant:) and don't have time to sit in bars looking for someone I'm interested in (oh yes he does, between that and being skanky, which is about all he can do other than sleep, get into trouble, be chronically unemployed, and generally useless). I thoroughly enjoy giving oral and have been told that I'm not too bad at it (his victims are all good at telling Jeff what he wants to hear and since he is a gullible and narcissistic fool it's not too hard-like his member, so I hear;). Word to the wise, Jeff likes to think he is good but he is more like a lapping away (heard through the grapevine). Has no clue how to please a woman and it is mighty soft down south unless Viagra is a part of the plan-and then it is still pretty sad because his skills are basic-word spreads like the clap:). However he likes his ego stroked and will believe anything you say so long as it collides with his skewed view of himself. Oh and speaking of clap, stock up on antibiotics and have lots of wet wipes for the toilet-you will see why if you choose this sad excuse for a man).

My Ideal Person I prefer someone FIT or thin, that is also attractive (lol he is marginally attractive living in his glory days pre hair loss and can barely run a mile without dying). I'm not on here because I'm unattractive and can't get a date (really I am not that attractive and I am broke, if I were such a catch I would not be here and also I have a girlfriend who is hopefully on to you or will be once I tell her, enjoy while it last. None of my relationships last long because I have a personality disorder/pervasive mental health problems and they find out about my sketchy as hell past-I sure did). I am on here to find women with shared interests (like being a skank). I work out regularly and would like to find someone similar (oh please, more lies from the sleeps until noon, mooch, broke, re-gifting, can barely move , king of the couch and ruling prince of toilet splatters).

Signed,
ANONY MOUSE